Stage Two: A Need to Examine More Deeply
A pressing need to examine what is being unveiled before us is what drives this stage, and so with it comes more difficult states of struggle but also greater depths of connection and clarity. There is often a feeling of being swung back and forth on the pendulum from one extreme state to another. Or to put it another way, from one state of delight and soul satisfying connection with the Lord and all that He stands for, to states of loss, grief, anxiety, unworthiness and anguish.
I slept this night about eleven hours, and during the whole of the morning was in my usual state of internal gladness, which was, nevertheless, attended with a pang: this, I thought, arose from the power of the Spirit and my own unworthiness. At last, with God’s help, I came into these thoughts, that we ought to be contented with everything which pleases the Lord, because it is for the Lord [and not for us] to say; and, further, that the Spirit is not resisted, when we receive from God the assurance that it is God’s grace which does all tilings for our welfare: for if we are God’s, we must be delighted with whatever He pleases to do with His own; still we must ask the Lord for this, because not even the least thing is in our own power. For this the Lord gave me His grace. I reflected upon this, desiring to understand the reason why all this happens. Yet this was sinful; for my thoughts ought not to have gone in that direction, but I ought to have prayed to the Lord for power to control them. It ought to be enough for us [to know] that it so pleases the Lord. In everything we ought only to call upon Him, pray to and thank Him, and with humility recognise our own unworthiness. (Document 209:59)
April 9-10th. The whole day of the 9th I spent in prayer, in songs of praise, in reading God’s Word, and fasting ; except in the morning when I was otherwise occupied, until the same kind of temptation came, and I was compelled to think on subjects contrary to my own will. (Document 209:51)
Afterwards several days in succession I was generally for a few hours in spiritual anxiety, without being able to tell the cause; although I seemed to be assured of God’s grace. In the afternoons, however, I was in a state of great happiness and spiritual peace. (Document 209:131)
While I had the most damnable thoughts, the worst that possibly could be, Jesus Christ was presented vividly before my internal sight; and the operation of the Holy Spirit came over me, from which I knew that the devil was gone. On the following day also I was in a state of infestation, in conflicting thoughts, and in strife. In the afternoon I was mostly in a tranquil state, and thought of God, though engaged in worldly things. (Document 209:112)
With these wild fluctuations of inner states, from one end of the pendulum to the other, comes the alarming and often fear-inducing feeling of a loss of control over what is happening, and over our very life.
I was also in a temptation, where thoughts invaded me which I could not control; nay they poured in so powerfully, that all my other thoughts were kept under, and full liberty was given them to resist the power of the Spirit, which leads in a different direction; the infestation was, indeed, so strong that unless God’s grace had been stronger, I must either have succumbed or become mad. During that time I could not direct my thoughts to the contemplation of Christ, whom I had seen for that brief moment (see no. 27). The action of the Spirit and its power affected me so, that I almost lost my senses…. I can only compare this to a pair of scales, in one of which is our own will and our sinful nature, and in the other God’s power. These our Lord disposes in temptation, so that they are in a state of equilibrium; as soon then as it is borne down on this side, He helps it up again. Such have I found to be the case, speaking in a natural manner; from which it follows that this is far from being our own power, for that draws the scale down, and is rather opposed to, than cooperating with the Spirit’s power; and, consequently, it is entirely our Lord’s work, which is thus disposed by Him. (Document 209:34)
The same day I was somewhat disturbed in mind, as I could not control the thoughts, which flowed in against my will both in a negative and an affirmative form. I was at Divine service, where I noticed that thoughts on matters of faith, respecting Christ, His merit and the like, even though they be entirely favourable and confirmatory, still cause a certain disquietude, and give rise to opposing thoughts which cannot be resisted, whenever man tries to believe from his own understanding, and not from the Lord’s grace. (Document 209:98)
Often this is the time where memories of past and present transgressions resurface and are brought into view so that the Word may offer new light to them, a new way of seeing them and eventually of being in relationship to them. Whilst again these experiences can be very difficult, the Lord’s end for them is that whatever can be integrated into a life of use will remain, and what cannot integrate will be seen as such, and effectively cast off in the very act of seeing and acknowledging. These states carry a sense of healing because the submission of our own understanding and love to that healing is offered up to the Lord; as is also the need to be in control, because the meaning of our life is instead given over to His meaning for our life. Painful memories may not necessarily, in and of themselves, find a place of peace as we would typically hope for, but the healing is contained in the new relationship we can have with those states of pain and the struggle that was or is in the experiences and memories.
I then found that things were reproduced in my thoughts, which had entered into them long before; and I saw confirmed thereby the truth of God’s Word that there is not the least word or the least thought which God does not know, and for which we ourselves should not be responsible, were it not for God’s grace. (Document 209:35)
Afterwards, when various things occurred to me, of which I had thought long ago, and which had become fixed in my mind, it was just as if I had been told that I had found reasons for excusing myself — this also was a great temptation for me — or again reasons for attributing to myself the good that I had done, or rather that was done through me: but God’s Spirit prevented even this, and caused me to find it otherwise. (Document 209:38)
October 20-21th. It was most gracious and wonderful that on the previous day I had felt myself unworthy of all the grace God had been pleased to exhibit towards me; for love of my own self and pride were so deeply rooted in me ; I therefore prayed to God that He would remove them from me, since this is not in my own power. In the evening I found myself in a most curious state of mind, such as I had never experienced before : for I despaired of God’s grace, although I knew that God is so gracious, and that He has shown greater grace towards me than towards anyone else. There was an anxiety in the soul, but not in the mind, though I became conscious of it only in the mind itself, without feeling any pain in the body. (Document 209:200)
This last [temptation] was severer than the first, as it went to the innermost, and to resist it I received a stronger evidence of the Spirit; for at times I broke into a perspiration. What then arose in my mind had no longer the effect of condemning me; for I had a strong assurance that I had been forgiven; but the desire came to excuse myself, and make myself free. Very often I burst into tears, not of sorrow, but of inmost joy at our Lord’s deigning to be so gracious to so unworthy a sinner ; for the sum of all I found to be this, that the only thing needful is to cast oneself in all humility on our Lord’s grace, to recognize one’s own unworthiness, and to thank God in humility for His grace: for if there is a feeling of glorification contained in it, the tendency of which is towards our own honour — whether it is a glorification of God’s grace or of anything else — such a feeling is impure. (Document 209:38)
And so, the work in this stage leads the self into an increasing awareness that the Lord’s way is the only way that saves. That His truth is only what can offer real freedom and peace. And therefore, this stage leads the sense of self into greater depths of submission in giving up its ownership of life; in letting go of all that it has known; in letting go of the need to control its direction; and instead, listening more instead to what the Lord as the Word is asking of it.
By some rays of light in me I found that it would be the greatest happiness to become a martyr ; for on beholding inexpressible grace combined with love to God, a desire was kindled in me to undergo this torture, which is nothing compared with eternal torment; and [a conviction then] that the least of the things that one can offer is his life. (Document 209:24)
Afterwards I seemed to say to myself that the Lord Himself will instruct me. For, as I discovered, I am in such a state that I know nothing on this subject except that Christ must be all in all, or God through Christ, so that we of ourselves cannot contribute the least towards it, and still less strive for it: wherefore it is best to surrender at discretion, and were it possible to be altogether passive in this matter, it would be a state of perfection. (Document 209:194)
I saw also in a vision how some beautiful bread was presented to me on a plate. This was a prediction that the Lord Himself will instruct me, as soon as I have attained that state in which I shall know nothing, and in which all my preconceived notions will be removed from me; which is the first state of learning: or, in other words, that I must first become a child, and that then I shall be able to be nurtured in knowledge, as is being the case with me now. (Document 209:195)
In the morning, on awaking, I fell into a swoon or fainting fit, similar to that which I experienced about six or seven years ago at Amsterdam, when I entered upon the Economia Regni Animalis; but it was much more subtle, so that I was almost dead. It came upon me as soon as I saw the light. I threw myself upon my face, when it gradually passed off. In the mean time short interrupted slumbers took possession of me. So that this swoon or deliquium was more interior and deeper; but I soon got over it. — This signifies that my head is being cleared, and is really being cleansed of all that would obstruct these thoughts. (Document 209:207)
All of this is leading into the third stage of awakening of instruction, and finding a way forward.
Summary of Experiences in Stage Two – A Need to Examine More Deeply
- Swinging back and forth between delight and connection to anguish, unworthiness and despair
- Feeling a loss of control
- Past and present memories and relationships resurfacing to be reframed in the light of the new ways of thinking that the Text offers.
- A sense of healing and peace in this – but not in the typical way we think of healing and peace, more of being in a new relationship with them
- A seeing that what the truth of the Text offers is real freedom
- Feeling a call to a greater depth of submission to the Lord and the authority to the Text
- Leading to an acknowledgement that we are being asked to let go of the need to be in control and to submit our life to His ways and directions.
Questions for Reflection
- What resonates for you from this second stage?
- Write down and explain why, and describe experiences that connect to this feeling of resonance?
- What has helped in supporting you through these experiences?
- What questions are you still carrying from these experiences?
- What ideas will you take away from this stage to ponder on?
The Third Stage: The Instruction in Finding a Way Forward
There is ongoing work on submission in this stage and acceptance of our life being the Lord’s and not ours, and that we are in fact nothing but a receiver of it. With this comes a willingness of the heart to be led by the Word, as Divine Truth, because It reveals the Lord to us. There is a new sense of willingness, a sense of being led into and through the processes the Word as the Lord is taking us. We see what belongs to our will or sense of self when it is separated from the love and wisdom that is the Lord, and this clearer distinction brings a new clarity in our thinking and an opening into what it means to be in spiritual freedom. This freedom is experienced in knowing that we are actively choosing His ways but that even this choosing is a gift of His life flowing into us.
This much have I learned thus far in spiritual things, that there is nothing for it but to humble oneself, and with all humility to desire nothing but the grace of Christ. I strove from my own self to obtain love; but this is presumptuous: for when any one has God’s grace, he leaves himself to Christ’s pleasure, and acts according to His pleasure; a person is happiest when he is in God’s grace. With the humblest prayer I had to ask forgiveness before my conscience could be appeased; for before doing so, I was still in temptation. The Holy Spirit taught me all this, but I in my weak understanding passed over humility, which yet is the foundation of all. (Document 209:30)
The most singular thing is, that I now represent the inner man, and, as it were, another than myself; that I visit my own thoughts, frighten them, i. e. the things of my memory; that I accuse another. — This shows that matters are changed now; and that I represent the inner man, who is opposed to another [i. e. the external man]. For I prayed to God that I might not be my own, but that God might please to let me be His. (Document 209:84)
Afterwards, because it seemed to me I was so far separated from God that I could not yet think of Him in a sufficiently vivid manner, I came into a state of doubt whether I should not direct my journey homewards; a crowd of involved reasons then came, and my body was seized with a tremor. Yet I gathered courage and perceived that I had come [to Holland] to do that which was best of all, and that I had received a talent for the promotion of God’s glory ; I saw that all had helped together to this end ; that the Spirit had been with me from my youth for this very purpose; wherefore I considered myself unworthy of life, unless, I followed the straight direction. I then smiled at the other seducing thoughts ; and thus at luxury, riches, and distinction, which I had pursued. All these I saw to be vain ; and I discovered that he who is without them, and is contented, is happier than he who possesses them. I therefore smiled at all arguments by which I might be confirmed ; and with God’s help made a resolution. May God grant His help. (Document 209:110)
Once an acceptance of our life being the Lord’s is what leads us, then the sense of self comes more into alignment with the Lord’s purpose for all – for the salvation of all; and brings with it an enlightened understanding that the sense of self is the Lord’s vehicle for this. A shift then occurs with less focus on the struggles of the self and more on what these struggles can offer to our work for His purpose – for us and the greater common good for the whole. Whether that be the whole of all those we have contact with in our life, the whole of the spiritual associations and communities that we are in contact with, or with the whole of all that is in His creation.
What the acts of my life involved, I could not distinguish at the time they happened, but by the Divine mercy of God- Messiah I was afterwards informed with regard to some, even many, particulars. From these I was at last able to see that the Divine Providence governed the acts of my life uninterruptedly from my very youth, and directed them in such a manner, that by means of the knowledge of natural things I was enabled to reach a state of intelligence, and thus by the Divine mercy of God-Messiah, to serve as an instrument for opening those things which are hidden interiorly in the Word of God-Messiah. Those things, therefore, are now made manifest, which hitherto were not manifest.” (Document 208: Introduction- quote from Adversaria, Part II, no. 839).
All this, it seems to me, represents that I must employ my remaining time in writing upon that which is higher, and not upon worldly things which are far below ; and, indeed, that I must write about that which concerns the very centre of all, and that which concerns Christ. May God be so gracious as to enlighten me respecting my duty ; for I am still in some obscurity as to the direction whither I am to turn. (Document 209:126)
Our conscious thoughts start to get framed around what we are being taught by the Word, and what it speaks to us in more universal terms, with less sense of what it means for the self, but more about what it teaches about the nature of spiritual life and spiritual principles in general. So, there is a shift away from the specifics of “I” towards the general of “all that is”.
In short, if a person is in such a state that he is not influenced by a love which centres in himself, but by one which centres in the common good, such as on earth or in the moral world represents love in the spiritual world; and if he is not in that love for the sake of himself or of society, but for the sake of Christ, whose love constitutes also the centre — if a person is in such a state, then he is in a right state; Christ is then the ultimate end, and the rest are mediate ends leading directly towards the ultimate end. (Document 209:92)
While the specific sense of calling in our life is unique to each individual, and is perpetually evolving and coming into being, there are elements within the experience that are universal to all. This stage is where the intensities of the swinging pendulum begins to settle. Disruptions still occur but they don’t disorientate our sense of being as much as they once did. There is now a growing acceptance of their presence, and they are seen to be just as much part of the process of spiritual life, as are the states of delight and connection. And the sense of their extremes, from one end of the pendulum to the other, is what settles, because we see that the pendulum must always be in motion. We see, in fact, that it is the motion itself that gives rise to the experience that we call life, that allows us to sense the life that flows in from the Lord who is the source of all. And it is our unique resistance to that influx that creates the experience of swinging, like the motion of our limbs as we walk forward along the path. Sometimes we walk, sometimes we dawdle and sometimes we run. Sometimes there is an obvious rhythm and sometimes there is a labour to establish one. But always, there is movement and motion.
It was remarkable, that Swedenborg never endeavored to persuade any person to receive his opinions ; he was once asked, whether it might be possible for any one, but himself, to arrive at the same degree of spiritualty; he replied, ‘Take good care, for the natural man lays himself open to temptations, when, by his own speculations, he tries to find out celestial things that transcend his understanding.’ He then declared, how the Lord has taught us in the Lord’s Prayer to pray, Lead us not into temptation,- which means, that we ought not, from our own power and knowledge, to doubt of the divine truths revealed to us ‘I never thought,’ added he,’ I should have come into the spiritual state in which I am; but the Lord had prepared me for it, in order to reveal the Spiritual Sense of the Word, which he had promised in the Prophets and the Revelations.’ (Document 10 Anecdotes Collected by Mr. Robsahm)
Summary of Stage Three – The Instruction in Finding a Way Forward
- An increase in willingness of heart to be led by the Word
- An ability to be in clearer distinctions
- A shift in focus from our individual struggles to what these can offer to support our work for His purposes for all, for the greater good, and for His use for us in that
- The intensities of the back and forth swinging or fluctuations start to settle
- Disruptions and struggles still occur but they aren’t as debilitating as they once were
- A growing acceptance of being in a process rather than focused on an outcome
- Seeing that the motion and movement of the fluctuations is what gives rise to the experience of being alive
Questions for Reflection
- New thoughts are needed for a change of mind and a consequent change of heart. The Word as Divine revelation is what provides these new thoughts and thus a new mind and heart begins to form when we think from what It teaches. What does this statement bring up for you?
- Can you identify the difference in the quality of an experience in a situation where you have been process-focused rather than outcome-focused? Or have been initially outcome-focused but switched to being present in the process instead of worrying about how it would unfold? Can you compare and contrast these two modes of being from your own experiences?
- We awaken for the service of others. What does this mean to you now after having worked through this module?
- What else resonates for you from this third stage?
- What will you take away to examine more deeply from the three-stage process as a whole?
Overall Summary
These three stages aren’t perfectly linear of course, and are cyclic on a day-to-day, state-to-state scale, but overall this is a process that we see illustrated, not just in Swedenborg’s experiences but others who have also had spiritual awakenings. There is no time that can be attributed to these stages, and each takes as long or as little as is needed. Stage three in particular may take a lifetime to arrive at in this plane of life, but we will catch glimpses of it along the way. The Word, as Divine revelation that reveals the Lord to us, is given to support our spiritual awakening. If we trust in It, let ourselves be led by It and apply our self to the work of this – then although what unfolds will be of both heaven and hell, heaven is what will prevail in the end because it is what the process leads into. It is the creation of a new form of mind, of a heavenly image and likeness, of a human.
The spiritual angels seemed, as it were, to unroll the coat of the left eye towards the septum of the nose, that the eye might be opened, and the sight restored. This is an appearance, but the spirit perceives it to be really done; and when the coat of the eye seems to have been unrolled, some light is seen, but very dimly, like that which a man sees through the eyelids on first awakening. This dim light seemed to me of a heavenly hue, but I was afterwards told that the colour varies with different persons. Next followed a sensation as though something were being gently unrolled from the face, and when this is done, spiritual thought is induced. This unrolling from the face is also an appearance, which represents the transition from natural thought to spiritual thought. The angels are extremely careful lest any idea should come from the person who is being raised which does not spring from love. They now tell him that he is a spirit. After they have given light, the spiritual angles render all the services which he can ever desire in that state, and instruct him concerning things of another life, so far as he is able to comprehend them. (Heaven and Hell 450)
Support In Your Work
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Further Reading and Exploration
That “cold and heat” signifies the state of man when he is being regenerated, which is like this in regard to the reception of faith and charity, and that “cold” signifies no faith and charity, and “heat” charity, is evident from the signification of “cold” and “heat” in the Word, where they are predicated of a man about to be regenerated, or being regenerated, or of the church. The same is also evident from the connection, that is, from what precedes and what follows; for the subject is the church (in the preceding verse that man would not again be able so to destroy himself, in this verse that some church will always come into existence), which is first described as to the way it comes into existence, that is, when the man is being regenerated so as to become a church, and then the quality of the regenerated man is treated of; so that the treatment of the subject covers every state of the man of the church. That his state when regenerated is as described, namely, a state of cold and heat, or of no faith and charity, and again of faith and charity, may not be so evident to anyone except from experience, and indeed from reflection in regard to the experience. And because there are few who are being regenerated, and among those who are being regenerated few if any who reflect, or who are able to reflect on the state of their regeneration, we may say a few words on the subject. When man is being regenerated, he receives life from the Lord; for before this he cannot be said to have lived, the life of the world and of the body not being life, but only that which is heavenly and spiritual. Through regeneration man receives real life from the Lord; and because he had no life before, there is an alternation of no life and of real life, that is, of no faith and charity, and of some faith and charity; no charity and faith being here signified by “cold” and some faith and charity by “heat.” As regards this subject the case is this: Whenever man is in his corporeal and worldly things, there is then no faith and charity, that is, there is “cold” for then corporeal and worldly things, consequently those which are his own, are at work, and so long as the man is in these, he is absent or remote from faith and charity, so that he does not even think about heavenly and spiritual things. The reason of this is that heavenly and corporeal things can never be together in a man, for man’s will has been utterly ruined. But when the things of man’s body and will are not at work, but are quiescent, then the Lord works through his internal man, and then he is in faith and charity, which is here called “heat.” When he again returns into the body he is again in cold; and when the body, or what is of the body, is quiescent, and as nothing, he is then in heat, and so on in alternation. For such is the condition of man that heavenly and spiritual things cannot be in him along with his corporeal and worldly things, but there are alternations. This is what takes place with everyone who is to be regenerated, and it goes on as long as he is in a state of regeneration; for in no other way is it possible for man to be regenerated, that is, from being dead to be made alive, for the reason, as already said, that his will has been utterly ruined, and is therefore completely separated from the new will, which he receives from the Lord and which is the Lord’s and not the man’s. Hence now it is evident what is here signified by “cold and heat.” That such is the case every regenerated man may know from experience, that is to say, that when he is in corporeal and worldly things, he is absent and remote from internal things, so that he not only takes no thought about them, but feels in himself cold at the thought of them; but that when corporeal and worldly things are quiescent, he is in faith and charity. He may also know from experience that these states alternate, and that therefore when corporeal and worldly things begin to be in excess and to want to rule, he comes into straits and temptations, until he is reduced into such a state that the external man becomes compliant to the internal, a compliance it can never render until it is quiescent and as it were nothing. The last posterity of the Most Ancient Church could not be regenerated, because, as before said, with them the things of the understanding and of the will constituted one mind; and therefore the things of their understanding could not be separated from those of their will, so that they might in this manner be by turns in heavenly and spiritual things, and in corporeal and worldly things; but they had continual cold in regard to heavenly things and continual heat in regard to cupidities, so that they could have no alternation. (Arcana Coelestia 933{1-4})
That “summer and winter” signify the state of the regenerate man as to his new will, the alternations of which are as summer and winter, is evident from what has been said about cold and heat. The alternations with those who are to be regenerated are likened to cold and heat, but the alternations with those who have been regenerated are likened to summer and winter. That in the former case the man who is to be regenerated is treated of, and in the present case the man who has been regenerated, is evident from this, that in the one case cold is named first, and heat second; whereas in the other case summer is first named, and winter second. The reason is that a man who is being regenerated begins from cold, that is, from no faith and charity; but when he has been regenerated, he begins from charity. That there are alternations with the regenerate man—now no charity, and now some charity—is clearly evident for the reason that in everyone, even when regenerated, there is nothing but evil, and everything good is the Lord’s alone. And since there is nothing but evil in him, he cannot but undergo alternations and now be as it were in summer, that is, in charity, and now in winter, that is, in no charity. Such alternations exist in order that man may be perfected more and more, and thus be rendered more and more happy, and they take place with the regenerate man not only while he lives in the body, but also when he comes into the other life, for without alternations as of summer and winter as to what is of his will, and as of day and night as to what is of his understanding, he cannot possibly be perfected and rendered more happy; but in the other life these alternations are like those of summer and winter in the temperate zones, and those of day and night in springtime. These states are also described in the Prophets by “summer and winter” and by “day and night;” as in Zechariah: And it shall come to pass in that day that living waters shall go out from Jerusalem; half of them toward the eastern sea, and half of them toward the western sea; in summer and in winter shall it be (Zechariah 14:8),where the New Jerusalem is treated of, or the kingdom of the Lord in heaven and on earth, that is, its state of both kinds, which is called “summer and winter.” In David: The day is Thine, the night also is Thine; Thou hast prepared the light and the sun, Thou hast set all the borders of the earth, Thou hast made summer and winter (Psalms 74:16-17), where like things are involved. So in Jeremiah: That the covenant of the day, and the covenant of the night be not made vain, that there may be day and night in their season (Jeremiah 33:20 (Arcana Coelestia 935{1-3})
Before anything is reduced into a state of order, it is most usual that things should be reduced into a confused mass, or chaos as it were, so that those which do not well cohere together may be separated, and when they are separated, then the Lord disposes them into order. This process may be compared with what takes place in nature, where all things in general and singly are first reduced to a confused mass, before being disposed into order. Thus, for instance, unless there were storms in the atmosphere, to dissipate whatever is heterogeneous, the air could never become serene, but would become deadly by pestiferous accumulations. So in like manner in the human body, unless all things in the blood, both heterogeneous and homogeneous, did continuously and successively flow together into one heart, to be there commingled, there would be deadly conglutinations of the liquids, and they could in no way be distinctly disposed to their respective uses. Thus also it is with man in the course of his regeneration. (Arcana Coelestia 842{3})